


Did I Forget To Mention That?

by Kereea



Series: Falcon Says Boyd Stays AU [1]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, M/M, Mark ya done goofed up, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23936437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: In a different universe where Mark Beaks has been known to post about the fact that he’s dating Falcon Graves, Louie has a very different idea to prove Mark showed up with a fake son to Doofus’ party.Tdlr: don’t get a robot kid and not tell your signif, folks
Relationships: Mark Beaks/Falcon Graves
Series: Falcon Says Boyd Stays AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741510
Comments: 6
Kudos: 79





	Did I Forget To Mention That?

“So, we think Boyd’s not real. What’s the plan, Sharpie?” Goldie asked.

“Hmm…you know, it’s _weird_ Falcon Graves isn’t here,” Louie mused.

“Who?” Goldie asked.

“Ah, Beaks’ boyfriend. Secret agent type. Probably would do a better job of stealing things than Beaks,” Louie said. “…Huey and Dewie know him. Also, Mark posts about it online, like, all the time.”

“Ah,” Goldie said. “…You think he made up a kid and didn’t tell the boyfriend.”

“Worth a shot,” Louie said. “Let’s see, how to tell the boyfriend…”

“The guy’s obsessed with his phone, boyfriend’s number has to be in there,” Goldie said.

“Exactly. Think you can lift it while it’s unlocked?” Louie asked.

“I am insulted you even asked that question. Now go ask Beaks one so I can do it,” Goldie said, nudging Louie forward.

“Yeah, yeah,” Louie hissed back. “So! Mark! I was wondering, is Boyd, you know, free tomorrow? We were going to play Smash Em at my place but Webby has a thing, and we need teams-”

“Oh, can I go, can I go?” Boyd asked Mark eagerly.

“Uh…can you what?” Mark asked blankly, going to slide his phone in his pocket. Goldie expertly replaced it with a well-folded napkin.

“Go to Louie’s house tomorrow? Dad, can I?”

“You, uh…want to let my kid into McDuck Manor? Yeah, um…sure?” Mark muttered, wheels turning in his head. “I mean, totally! Send me all the pics!”

“Speaking of pics, you dropped this,” Goldie said, passing Mark his phone.

“My baby!” Mark said, grabbing it.

“Huh?” Boyd asked.

“…Your dad’s a weirdo. Um, excuse me. Need to use the little duck’s room,” Louie said, waving goodbye to Doofus, still inelegantly floating in the pool. Goldie passed him the napkin on the way there and he smirked at the phone number, and the note.

_It Was Under “Gravesy_ ”

“Beaks is so weird,” Louie muttered as she shut the bathroom door and leaned against the wall. He dialed the phone, humming as he waited for someone to pick up.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Hey, this is Louie Duck, you know my brothers-”

“What is this about?” Falcon asked sternly, cutting him off.

“Well, I mean, I just wanted to congratulate you man. On the adoption. Boyd’s great.”

“…Boyd?” Falcon asked.

“Yeah, Mark showed up with your son-” Louie said, before he was cut off again.

“He did _what_?” Falcon snapped. “What is your location?”

“Doofus Drake’s treehouse manor,” Louie said, hanging up and washing his hands before exiting the bathroom.

“Now we wait?” Goldie asked softly. Louie nodded.

“Yup. Let’s, uh…enjoy the party.”

.o.o.o.

“And then we went and flew kites! Dad said he never actually tried that before, so that’s why his crashed like, a bunch,” Boyd explained to Louie during the hula-hoop contest.

“Dude, how are you still talking?” Louie gasped before he fell over.

“I dunno,” Boyd admitted, his hoop falling as he shrugged.

The door to the elevator was kicked in.

“Whoa,” Louie muttered as Falcon Graves stormed into the room, making a beeline for Mark.

“Gravesy! What are you…doing here?” Mark asked as Boyd bounced over.

Falcon stopped right in from of Mark and Boyd. Boy waved happily at him. Falcon glared at Mark, pointing at Boyd.

“Bot or no, I think we should extract the child,” Goldie whispered to Louie.

“Oh, agreed,” Louie said. “This is going to get ugly.”

“Okay, okay, so I suppose this is a bit of a shock,” Mark said.

“I received a ‘congrats on the adoption’ call,” Falcon said. “I was unaware we were adopting, _Mark_.”

“Heh. Funny story about that, adoption…may not be the right word,” Mark said as Louie slipped behind him and pulled Boyd away by the arm.

“My goodness. What is going on?” Doofus asked, appearing behind Goldie.

“Ah, lover’s spat. You’re too young for it, I’m sure,” Goldie said, Louie slipping back next to her with Boyd.

“Oh, not the right word is it?” Falcon demanded.

“More…more _creation_ than adoption,” Mark explained.

“Creation— _please tell me_ you didn’t hire that Dee woman for some biochemical experiments _again_ ,” Falcon groaned. “After what happened last time-”

“What, no, Boyd’s totally robotic—oops,” Mark muttered as Doofus seemingly teleported next to him.

“So! You thought to trick me with a robot child?” Doofus demanded.

“…I’m a robot?” Boyd asked Louie quietly.

“Uh…yeah,” Louie admitted.

“If so, a very lifelike robot,” Goldie added.

“WHAAAAH!” Boyd started crying, the sheer volume making Goldie and Louie jump.

“Dude, she just said you were lifelike!” Louie said.

“I don’t _wanna_ be a robot!” Boyd cried.

“You didn’t tell the child he was a robot, either?” Falcon asked Mark. “What part of ‘tell people they’re involved in a scheme’ keeps not penetrating your skull?”

“Excuse me, this is _my_ party, _I_ will do the yelling!” Doofus said.

Falcon gave him an annoyed look, “Where are your parents?”

Everyone silently pointed at Mr. and Mrs. Drake. Falcon groaned.

“I hate this town.”

“Uh…is he supposed to spark like that?” Goldie asked as Boyd continued loudly crying, sparks now shooting from his eyes.

“Wuh-oh, may have over-stressed his processors somehow…hmm,” Mark said, pulling out his phone. “Let me see—hey!”

Doofus started randomly hitting things on Mark’s screen, “Well let’s see how his screaming processors like this!”

“My phone!” Mark shouted, going to snatch it back, only to knock it into the pool. “Aw, crud.”

Boyd’s eyes turned red.

“Oh, that’s attack mode,” Mark commented idly as Boyd’s hands turned into buzzsaws.

“Why did you _put in an attack mode_?” Louie and Falcon both yelled.

“Seemed cool. One sec, one sec, I have a backup phone somewhere…” Mark mused searching his pockets.

Falcon dove to hold Boyd back as he lunged at Louie, who Goldie threw herself in front of.

“Got it!” Mark yelled, pulling out his phone and de-activated the attack mode.

A slow clapping cut through the air.

“Wonderful,” Doofus said. “Simply wonderful.”

“…Huh?” Boyd asked, the sawblades retracting as he seemed to come back to himself.

“Kid, I have no idea,” Falcon admitted, putting him down.

“You put yourself at risk to save Llewellyn,” Doofus explained, smiling at Goldie. “A true act of sacrifice, from a proper parent.”

“…I’ve said I was his aunt all afternoon,” Goldie pointed out, looking nervous.

“And thus, Llewellyn has given me the greatest gift of all—a replacement for my dear Gumeemamma! Long live Goldiemamma!” Doofus said.

“Goldiemamma,” Doofus’ parents echoed.

“I’m sorry, _what_ ,” Louie said as Goldie fell down a chute. “ _WHAT_?”

“Thank you all for attending. Enjoy the gift bags. And…goodbye,” Doofus said, pulling out a remote.

Louie, Boyd, Falcon, and Mark were all catapulted out of the treehouse with a pile of treasure. Falcon grabbed Louie and Boyd on the way down, keeping them safe as he landed in a tuck and roll. Mark fell onto a bush and rolled off onto the grass as Falcon put the kids down.

“…Did Goldie just get _captured_?” Louie yelped.

“Did we just get ejected from a treehouse with a ton of money?” Mark asked, spotting the gold.

“What is _happening_?” Boyd cried.

Falcon put a hand to his face as he observed the freak-outs. “I knew I should have taken that radio silence gig in Macaw.”

After letting the whining and Mark poking at the money continue for a few moments, Falcon sighed before snapping. “All of you, quiet!”

“You,” he pointed at Louie, “Take your money and gems and…I don’t even know why there’s gold, but there is, take it, and leave.”

“You,” he pointed at Boyd, “Are still a child. There are several perfectly sentient robots out there, of which you are clearly one. Calm down.”

“And YOU!” Falcon said, whirling on Mark. “You are on the couch until you give this robotic child his own room and give _me_ his complete schematics so his safety can be properly assured. Is that _clear_?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Marks said.

“Kid’s room. Schematics. Your tail on the couch for pulling this without telling me,” Falcon said.

“Oooh, right, you don’t like not being told things,” Mark said, smacking his forehead. “My bad.”

“How long have you been dating again?” Louie asked.

“Oh, shut up,” Mark muttered.

“I’m not a not-real kid?” Boyd asked Falcon, sniffling.

“Realler than Glomgold Junior, at any rate,” Louie said.

“You mean Shark Bomb?” Boyd asked.

“Yeah,” Louie said.

“…Glomgold named his fake child _Shark Bomb_? Urgh. _Duckburg_ ,” Falcon sighed.

“Well, at least we’re finally out of there,” Mark muttered. “With sweet swag to boot!”

“But Miss Goldie’s still inside,” Boyd said. “And we can’t help her!”

“Wait, that’s it!” Louie said. “Mr. Graves, do I have the perfect and hopefully easy job for you!”

“I don’t do jobs in Duckburg. Too many of you are nuts,” Falcon said bluntly.

“Ya love it,” Mark said, filing his nails.

“Couch,” Falcon reminded him. Mark sulked.

“Look, if we’re going to save Goldie, what we need is someone well-versed in moving millions!” Louie said, pointing at Falcon. “In the _not_ -legal way!”

“…You want me to…rob a rich person?” Falcon asked.

“Ooh, ooh, ooh!” Boyd said, bouncing on his toes. “Louie told his aunt Doofus’ parents have to obey him because he controls the money! That’s right!”

“Uh, while we’re being truthful with you, Boyd, Goldie O’Gilt is not my aunt. She and Uncle Scrooge _are_ a thing but…yeah. Not actually my aunt,” Louie explained.

“Wait, Goldie O’Gilt?” Falcon asked, grabbing Louie’s shoulders. “The greatest saboteur and thief of all time?”

“…Maybe? I mean, yeah, she’s pretty old. Said there was a fountain of youth in the mix, somewhere,” Louie said, waggling his hand.

“She was my hero growing up! I’m in,” Falcon said, smirking and folding his arms.

“Wow. She _is_ old,” Mark commented.

“Couch!” Falcon reminded him.

.o.o.o.

“-trapped in a dimension where imps jabbed me with a million tiny splinters while whispering all of my devastating failures in my ear. But this is worse,” Goldie sighed a she sat in a glass case in front of Doofus. “…I’m not going to knit.”

“You will in time,” Doofus said before there was a noise at the door.

There was a muffled ask of “Do we _really_ need a breaching charge?” followed by Louie Duck loudly insisting “Trust me!” before the door exploded open.

“Wow. Thick door,” Mark commented as the main door panels fell in, snapping a quick pic. “Kid knew what he was talking about.”

“Ready?” Louie asked Boyd, who nodded. They pulled out wrapped gifts and walked towards Doofus.

“What are you doing here? The party is over,” Doofus said flatly.

“You didn’t let us give you your _prezzies_!” Boyd said eagerly, presenting his box.

“You left your gifts on the table upstairs,” Doofus said.

“Oh, _Doofus_ , those were pre-gifts, in case you had a need to open something before the party was over!” Louie said. “These are the real ones!”

“Ah. How thoughtful,” Doofus said, taking Louie’s box. “…A book on…loss?”

“Well yeah, I mean, I really wanted to help you out after I heard…” Louie said, trailing off as if Doofus knew what he meant.

“Heard what?” Doofus asked.

“Well, the news,” Louie said, Boyd nodding solemnly.

“What news?” Doofus demanded, grabbing Louie by the shirt, only for Falcon’s hand to shoot forward and twist his wrist, forcing him to let go.

“That all of your _frivolous_ spending on things such as treasure filled goodie bags for random Duckburg youths has horribly drained your account,” Falcon said bluntly. “You’re nearly broke.”

“Impossible,” Doofus said. “I have far too many riches stored in my manor.”

“Which will be repossessed because it’s come out you were way, way behind on your inheritance taxes,” Louie said.

“I got you a tax book!” Boyd said, unwrapping his box for Doofus.

“But…but…the will of Gumeemamma!” Doofus said, shaking.

“Oh _darn_ looks like you wasted it all,” Louie said. “ _Thankfully_ your dad’s been saving up, huh?”

“I have?” Mr. Drake said. Louie winked at him. “I mean, yes! I have.”

“Lucky enough to get in on the ground floor of Waddle and everything,” Falcon said, getting a dirty look from Mark for the cover story. “Very expensive stock, that.”

“I don’t believe you,” Doofus said.

“Check your accounts,” Falcon said, heading over to Goldie’s case and pulling out a laser glass cutter. “Don’t move.”

Doofus and his father both pulled out their phones, heading onto their banking apps. Doofus looked horrified while Mr. Drake looked confused, yet pleased. 

“Might I recommend family therapy as a first major purchase?” Louie suggested to Mr. Drake.

“So on that,” Mr. Drake agreed as Goldie was finally freed.

“No! I will not allow you to steal my Godiemamma from me!” Doofus yelled, only for his mother to seize him by the collar.

“Doofus! We do not speak to guests that way!” his mother said sternly.

“Ooh, that’s going on the blog,” Mark commented.

“You will not blog of this!” Doofus yelled.

“Doofus, go to your room!” his father ordered.

“…Which one?” Doofus asked slowly.

“Any!” his mother said sternly. Falcon, Goldie, and Louie all groaned, rolling their eyes.

“Ah, we’ll…be going,” Goldie said, turning Louie towards the door. “Thank you for the…party.”

“No, no, thank _you_ ,” Mrs. Drake said.

“Seriously! Therapy!” Louie called over his shoulder as they left.

“Well, they seem to have... _somewhat_ found their spines,” Goldie commented.

“Hmph. They should have long ago, money or not,” Falcon scoffed. “Still, with how I moved things it should be impossible to prove, especially since Mark altered his stock records to make it look like Drake’s been there all along.”

“Uh-huh. You owe me one heck of date for that,” Mark commented.

“It took you ten minutes. Still on the couch,” Falcon replied.

“You lot stole all of his money and gave it to his parents?” Goldie asked.

“Yeah. Sorry for getting you kidnapped,” Louie said, giving her the emerald. “Luckily, you’re Mr. Graves’ thieving childhood hero.”

“ _Seriously_ , how old are you?” Mark asked Goldie, flinching back when she glared at him.

“Well, it’s always nice to be admired,” Goldie said, smirking at her own reflection in the stone. “Is this all there is? I suppose Graves didn’t come cheap, if he’s someone who follows _my_ work.”

“Your share is still where Louie Duck left it,” Falcon said. “Though no, I don’t.”

“I only date the best,” Marks bragged.

“Still mad at you,” Falcon reminded him as they reached the hidden treasure pile in the park.

“We’ll be taking our leave,” Falcon said. “Mark here has to set up a perfect kid’s room for Boyd.”

“ _Gravesy_ ,” Mark whined.

“I mean, I’d have done it, _if someone told me we were adopting_ ,” Falcon said darkly. “Anyway, a pleasure working with you, Louie Duck. If you need my services in the future, I’ll assume you still have my stolen phone number.”

“You’re the one who told on me?” Mark hissed, glaring at Louie.

“Mark, don’t threaten children, it’s beneath you,” Falcon said.

“Okay, so on that note…bye!” Louie said, grabbing some of the treasure and booking it.

“Same!” Goldie said, grabbing the rest and running after him.

“I have two dads now! Yay!” Boyd said.

“And you have shotgun,” Falcon said.

“Really?” Mark whined.

“Yay!” Boyd yelled again as they reached Falcon’s car.

“Hey! My wallet’s gone!” Mark said, frantically searching his pockets. “Darn it, have to cancel all my cards…”

Falcon laughed. “She _is_ good.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So Mark still got Boyd’s basic schematics from Yolkiyo, but made some pretty serious modifications of his own. That still means Falcon’s going to be reading a lot of directions in Japanese. Of letting Mark of the couch early to translate them. Tho not even Mark is entirely sure what Boyd’s capable of, he was in a bit of a fugue state while putting the kid together. Too much caffeine.  
> Falcon does not blame Gandra Dee for turning on Mark after he kidnapped Huey and Webby. He thinks it’s good she and Fenton took him down before Scrooge, Donald, and Beakley found out. Mark’s butt would have been kicked so, so much more if that had happened.
> 
> Louie Duck is now the only person form Duckburg allowed to hire Falcon Graves for a second job. Partially because he in no way has the funding to do so for a very, very long time.


End file.
